Sadness

Sadness - is not attractive.  When you look at someone who looks depressed, burdened by loss, embittered by defeat, what do you see?  Do you see someone you want to hang out with? Doubtful.  Maybe, if you're feeling strong, you may see someone you want to help. But surely, you don't see someone whom you feel attracted to.

We are humans, subject to the dynamics of social interaction.  Happiness is contagious, strong people tend to be surrounded by other people who like them, and want to enjoy the invisible, hard to describe "radiance" that emanates by those people who have "charisma".

Think about the people you love.  Do you want to go them every time you're in need, and ask for help?  Save that card for when it's really necessary.  Many times, you can handle it on your own.  Find your own strength within you.  It's only on rare occasions that we're so beaten down that we need the support of our closest ones.  All the other times, learn to cope.

Nobody likes a victim.

So don't be one.

Healthy, wealthy and wise

In Zodiac, a novel by Neal Stephenson, there's a passage where he describes the goal in life of a Vietnamese immigrant, and how it differs from the commonplace goal in life of most Westerners. Most Westerners, when asked what they want in life, would answer "happiness".  It's kinda what you have been taught to want. But everyone realizes how generic that is.  What does it really mean to be happy?

The Vietnamese immigrant had a more specific set of goals: to be healthy, wealthy and wise. I like that.  It doesn't tell a complete story, because a fundamental thing in life is to be surrounded by people you love. Maybe that's something that comes with being wise.  Anyway, keeping these goals in mind serves for focusing your energy on things you can do something about.

I would then take it a little step further, and say that my goals in life are, for me and the ones I love, to be healthy, wealthy and wise.

Good.  There's no better time to get started than now.

Gold

"If you fail to strike gold, it's time to move on".

I found this quote in a book review, but unfortunately, I can't remember what book it was.  It's a reference to the spirit of the West, the ideal of people of the frontier, where after trying to succeed at an enterprise, if success proves elusive, it's simply time to wrap up and move on, rather than indulging in introspective and noxious feelings of self-pity. I like its brave and simple message of courage.  It would be tempting to stop and get caught in a loop of guilt, shame, anger, or whatever other negative emotion our human nature offers as an escape to the simple and naked truth that "I have failed". It takes courage to accept the truth when it's ugly. But it's only by accepting the truth that we can learn from our mistakes and continue with our life.

"If" by Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Aggression, ignorance and attachment

Here are some things I wish I would remember more often. A very smart
person mentioned them to me today.

Aggression is not productive. In fact, it is quite destructive.

Ignorance is bliss... sometimes. When coupled with arrogance,
ignorance is not blissful at all. Ignorance is tolerable only when is
found with a genuine desire to dispel it.

Attachment is not helpful. There is more to gain from letting go than
from clinging on things. Material things, or other things, like the
sense of reputation, or pride, can be the subject of attachment.
Letting go means becoming free of the burden of attachment.

Aggression, ignorance and attachment are the roots, the sustaining
pillars of many afflictions. Learning to see them for what they are
leads to eroding their influence, and to a more balanced approach to
life.

I understand these ideas intellectually, but not yet by practice.
There is a lot of work to do. Something to look forward to. It's
good to have goals.

A sunny day in September

Today is 9/11.  Drove by the World Trade Center and saw traffic cops, diverted traffic, preparation for the day of remembrance.  Inside Best Buy, on a TV for sale, I saw people reading the names of those who died there nine years ago. But that's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about... Buddha.  

More precisely, I want to talk about people who use Buddha's quotations as their email signature. That would be cool if they were, like, Buddhist monks.  Or if at least they had anything Buddhist about them. But what if they're just assholes? Big fat hypocritical assholes who are trying to give an impression of being some calm Zen-like laid-back wise individuals, so they put a Buddha quotations at the end of their email. It's gross. I know one of them, and it makes me sick. I saw an email full of lies and deception, and there was a Buddha quotations at the end. It's disgusting. 

Live deliberately

I found these words on the Internet. They are attributed to Anonymous, a great participant of the modern Internet. I copy them here verbatim because I like their rebellious energy, their raw message of courage in the face of the void.  I'd like to be reminded of these words every once in a while.

The world is meaningless, there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving towards any higher purpose. All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well. 

Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die. 

Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself. Choose what you want to find meaningful and then live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it. 

Do not let your life and your values and you actions slip easily into any mold, other than that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself". 

Do not give in to hope. Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it. Whatever you do, do it for its own sake. When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!". Remember, that to fight meaninglessness is futile but fight anyway, despite its futility.

The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.

Live deliberately.

You are free.

- Anon (Edited)